what you never understand

is not always misunderstood.

fuck you, dad.

The leaves are changing,

and so am I.

For most, it is perceived to be believed that age puts a time limit on us. Who ever said there was a time limit on how fast or slow you had to grow up?

it's time!

it's about time i've come out of my shell once again and surprised you (as in whoever loves to reads this or happens to stumble upon it once in awhile) a piece of my thoughts.

it seems as if the times you least expect things, they fall into place. it's like when you're trying to solve a 1,000 piece puzzle and you don't know where to start. you keep flipping over pieces, moving them around to see if they fit. sometimes you give up, or stop giving a fuck. you start to wonder why you even started doing the puzzle in the first place. there doesn't seem like a 'right' place to start. everything seems like it fits WRONG.

sometimes you just need to step back and look at the big picture...

more than once.

a few times.

maybe for a WHILE.

and even then, sometimes it still seems confusing at times. it could take you so much longer than you think it should.

i don't know if "you" (whoever "you" are) can relate...but i definitely can.

it's hard for me to see what i'm trying to create sometimes.

i get really, really confused.

but, i'm realizing that i feel most at peace when i know what makes me happy and how to just find happiness in little things.

sounds so cheesy.

i don't care what it sounds like.

j'aime l'otomne!

no subject

what happens now?

i wouldn't know.

i forgot what putting iTunes on shuffle does...

it's like it knows what songs that will just trigger all the emotions.

I just know.

some think...

some things we just find naturally boring.

some things we grow tired of, and become... naturally boring.

so what keeps things from becoming boring?

ME.

YOU.

US.

just a thought.

****

i love you.

see, here's the thing...

there's nothing really to be sad about.

but for some reason, i feel sad sometimes.

it's crazy because sometimes i'm so quick to snap out of it that i'm just wondering,

"why the fuck did i just think that or feel that or say that? that was completely untrue."

or maybe it was true at that particular moment in time, but not anymore.

or maybe it is again.

here's another thing.

THINGS CHANGE.

surprise!

and i've found that it's okay to think about things, even miss people for a while but then there just comes a time where you need to float back on to present.

it's sad that we can't take every single friend we meet along the way. and it's a shame that some people aren't who we really think they are. it's hard when you thought you knew someone, but they turned out to be someone completely different than you thought.

everything happens for a reason.

c'est la vie.

it's really sad that i'm not used to having priorities again. welcome back to life, ysabelle.

how do we make time?

"Nothing ever becomes real 'til it is experienced."

everyday we must learn something new.

today, i learned that even if i think i'm afraid of being alone... a lot of the time i'd rather be alone.

(besides being with you)

i have a lot to do.

i need to learn how to "make" time.

but all in all, i'm glad i'm back to school.

or i know i will be.

:)