giver.

how much do you give until you give too much?

i hadn't even thought i crossed the line.

seems as if there's such a fine line between selfish and selfless.

it's not even just material things.. the things that money can and can't buy.

i thought i tried to give it all. but now i'm wondering, why the fuck did i risk it all?

if not all, a lot... just for love.

because i thought,

i think...

that most of the time it's worth it

so, they say...

love can make you do crazy things.

yeah.

the longest drive home.

i can't stop thinking.

things are not the way i want them to be.

they haven't been,

but i've been trying to deal with them.

love can make you feel and do the craziest things.

sometimes i forget who i am now...i thought i knew exactly.

but times like these i feel so, so confused.

and what we're doing seems to be so CRAZY.

i can't help it. i can't change it. things are so different... and not the kind of different i wanted.

it seems as if we pushed it so far for "love."

But what is love?

if it makes others so angry at us for being in "love" then maybe we shouldn't.

we really shouldn't.

it's insane that i should even care about what others think.

im angry because i can't be selfish about the one i love.

im upset because the one that i love can't fight for me.

i'm torn between the one i love and the life i want.

too bad. so sad.

all we know is falling.

here we are again, at the beginning.

but this beginning is the end, the one that i never wanted to happen.

i can't say much. i don't know what to say.

i fell in love, and now i need to learn how to fall out of it.

i'm sorry in advance if i seem like, miserable.

sucky, sad story.

is it always how we imagine?

i really might just confuse myself more than anybody else.

what you never understand

is not always misunderstood.

fuck you, dad.

The leaves are changing,

and so am I.

For most, it is perceived to be believed that age puts a time limit on us. Who ever said there was a time limit on how fast or slow you had to grow up?

it's time!

it's about time i've come out of my shell once again and surprised you (as in whoever loves to reads this or happens to stumble upon it once in awhile) a piece of my thoughts.

it seems as if the times you least expect things, they fall into place. it's like when you're trying to solve a 1,000 piece puzzle and you don't know where to start. you keep flipping over pieces, moving them around to see if they fit. sometimes you give up, or stop giving a fuck. you start to wonder why you even started doing the puzzle in the first place. there doesn't seem like a 'right' place to start. everything seems like it fits WRONG.

sometimes you just need to step back and look at the big picture...

more than once.

a few times.

maybe for a WHILE.

and even then, sometimes it still seems confusing at times. it could take you so much longer than you think it should.

i don't know if "you" (whoever "you" are) can relate...but i definitely can.

it's hard for me to see what i'm trying to create sometimes.

i get really, really confused.

but, i'm realizing that i feel most at peace when i know what makes me happy and how to just find happiness in little things.

sounds so cheesy.

i don't care what it sounds like.

j'aime l'otomne!