whatever you want,

I know he knows
He can have it.

I was never one to think about settling for second best, but I've found myself doing that. I tried to get rid of him by settling with the fact that I can have whoever I want too. But the truth was, I just wanted him.

Now,
Im learning and growing
And experiencing different things.
I don't have time to think about the way we went wrong..
Until his world and mine collides.
I don't mind much, I just think its kinda weird.
Honestly, I just wish it wasn't so awkward..

But there's not much I can do if he hates me.

I have a life too you know.


And if you're not in it, you don't know anything about it... so please don't try to act like you do.

dazed.

How did I get here?






I've never felt more peculiar in my life.

better off.

You had your chance so say goodbye.



Turn it up.
Turn it up.
Turn it uppppppp.


You knew me when I was a baby.
Just getting started.
Im not a baby anymore, baby.
But I gotta thank you,
Cos the time we had, I don't regret a thing.
I've accepted you as part of my past.
And if so, maybe you will be there in the future.

I hope we can be friends someday.

And to the rest of the world,
I love you too.

knowing.

i have faith that everything will work out.

and everything is going to be alright.

this is life, and i will take the good times as they come..

as well as the punches.

sometimes life gives you trouble,

and if i've learned anything in my 18 years of living...

it's to take every experience as a lesson learned.

living, loving, laughing.

i am ysabelle.

simplified chaos.

restarted.

okay fine. i give in. i'll write a real blog, of exactly how i'm feeling at this moment. don't take it personal.

so,

i'm pretty sure all i needed was rest.

i know in time that this feeling/these feelings will pass, but i can't say that i am used to them. and i'm definitely not used to the actions my mind and body has been taking in order to try to get rid of them.

it's not that i feel incomplete all the time.

it's not that i feel lonely all the time.

it's just that i get these waves of emotions and i don't know what to do with them.

how could you be so heartless?

to some of you. figure it out.

1 i love you, you already knowwww!

2 i can't say anything about this, and im starting to feel bad. 

3 i think i'm turning into the person you were to me. i don't know why, i don't know how to stop it, and i'm not sure if i like it. 

4 i miss the friendship man. i really do.

5 i'm not going to change because you think that i've gone crazy. you don't even know me.

6 i'm not trying to be a bitch at all. i'm sorry if i come off that way.

7 so what if you don't like me?

i am a beautiful, carefree, worthwhile & pure little butterfly. my purpose is to love and accept myself unconditionally while living each day to the fullest.

i'm gonna be who i'm gonna be.

i need some time alone.

i can't even think lately.

sunshine.

don't spend too much time worrying,

the sun is shining and the music is playing.

it doesn't matter where you are,

you're never alone.

sometimes a day alone is all i need.

it seems like this year just started,

but the month of January is already almost over.

they said, time goes fast when you're having fun.

maybe this is a dark thought...

but does that mean that life's gonna be over before i know it?

that is why,

i think,

we just need some time, sometimes

to be alone

and reflect

on what's good in life.

what's good in life?

new tunes in my ears, in the air.

home-made sandwiches.

long phone calls with close ones about everything and anything with laughter resounding throughout both lines.

sharing music.

new things.

new people.

happiness.

being at the top of the world.

being in my car.

singing at the top of our lungs.

blowing smoke.

smiling.

dancing.

laughing.

not giving a fuck what they think or say.

c'est la vie.