in the midst of uncertainty

I'll set my heart free..

             toss it out to sea.

because what's meant to be, will be.

Inspired by what moves me.

It couldn't have happened at a better time. When things fall apart, better things come together. When one door shuts, a few more open. When your heart breaks, it opens up more room for it to be filled with love, friendship, faith and hope.. Although I cannot, will not claim to be a perfect being. I strive to be the best that I can be. It's been a month since I turned 23. Almost 5 months since one of the most important things I *considered* to be a part of my life came to an end. It's really quite interesting how much can change in just a couple months: how the heart can heal, the mind can grow, outlooks and perspectives on life & my own purpose just evolve... thoughts & opinions on friendship, values, love & life/the pursuit of happiness just become clearer. That's really how it has been for the last 5 months. It's astounding really.

I feel like things fell apart, yet this time I chose to pull it together. It's crazy because I realize and can see how I have allowed life to just happen to me sometimes. I don't know how many times I've had to recognize and say it out loud, but it's so true. It's so easy to get lazy & not even realize it. In day to day dealings, it's easy to become accustomed to the monotony and the routine of everything. From being children we are conditioned to follow routine...not that this isn't a good thing because I do believe it is necessary to have one. However, I think what is rarely stressed enough in school is being able to be flexible with change and accepting that change is a natural part of life. Maybe it was just me, maybe I was the always resisting change and taking things for granted.



****
Seriously in the last 5 months, my outlook on life has become something so much more refined. I see my life for what it is now: something that has been given to me and something that I am constantly creating. Something that I have been ultimately blessed with. You can say what you want, people can say what they want...but I know life is special and whatever it is we do it with it and project onto others is our own doing.




~Post from July 2013~

Power of a moment.

I realized this weekend.. how difficult is it to really capture a moment? It seems like one could spend his or her whole life chasing something that can never really be captured. It is just a mirage. So how does one capture it? Is it really so simple that it can seem complex...? The sole fact of being in the moment. Being here & now.

I have recognized how difficult it is for me to do that all the time. To be consistently in the here & now/having to constantly remind myself not to get ahead of myself: to put down my phone, to stop talking, to stop worrying about everything about me & around me.. to just be. There is a fine line between insecure and being consciously aware, and a fine line between being here and now--rather than there and unaware. It's a constant balance, a constant cycle that we must never forget, but we do.. I do. I get caught up in wanting to capture every moment and save it. I want to take it all and put it in some sort of time capsule, I just want to get a go pro and record my whole entire life's experiences... but that just isn't completely possible and it shouldn't be. It's true that most of life's best experiences and moments are just that.. things that happen that can only be best summed up as a memory stored in your brain and hopefully not lost.

****

This is why I daydream. This is why I write. This is why I replay most of these memories before I go to sleep at night.

I want to hold onto them in the best ways that I can.

All we want is everything.

We all want to know everything. We are constantly on the quest for truth, further knowledge of self or of others, about the world around us...

I know I do too, but the truth is we can never know it ALL. There's always room for learning, always room for new ideas, always room for change & the unknown. If we close our minds to the world, then we close our eyes to what is in front of us, close our ears to new sounds or ideas... we remain still and alone to eventually die inside.

Okay, maybe I might be speaking a little too metaphorically again but really... I truly believe it is vital that we keep our minds strong with passion & motivation; however, humility is so important! You *and I* need to remember to check ourselves! Remember that this moment is OURS... Right now! Do what you say you would. Be who you say you are. REMEMBER what you said you'd do and do it. Don't let moments slip by and your words go undone. Don't just talk, walk, live... live with a purpose, count your blessings and don't let what really matters to you slip away.
Take. Your. Own. Advice.

So it's okay to admit when you're wrong, when you don't know, or when you DO know!

**Self thoughts**
Human interaction really interests me. Resiliency is key. I used to be one of those people who loved to feel sorry for themselves. Ha.... really weird since now I'm all about that positivity! Well, people can think whatever they want -- "It's all talk." Well, guess what. You really do have to fake it to make it sometimes.. because even though it may be "fake" at first... whatever you want in your life, you manifest that. I truly, truly believe in The Secret. If you believe in something so much, then you can and will you do whatever it takes to get there.



BELIEVE! ~ Love & positivity for days to anybody who comes across this. Yes, you too. ;)

I've had this track on repeat for dayssss. Really. It totally motivates me to get my day on. ~ TY Elaquent. Peep the Believing! Totally fitting for this post, right?

Me too.

I'm a firm believer that everything happens because it was meant to and that all of our actions, although maybe not consciously planned, have some way of teaching us. We must learn from them. No doubt in my mind that I have had fun doing the things I have done. I don't regret a single thing. Even if at times, I have become irritated and frustrated with how life is going or has gone.. I know that this is the life that I have created for myself---or the one that was meant for me.

What does it all mean though? Where does self-will and manifestation stop and fate take hold? We can only do so much in our power to get what we want but what about the changing world around us? 

*Early mornin thoughts. 

All we can ever do is try our best, do our best, be at our best... 

[+] Stay conscious, grounded while always reaching higher.

I do think I want to go sit on the clouds today.... Just for a little...

New Ta-Ku... yet another beautiful remix. This guy just knows which sounds tug at heart strings and speak to you. A true artist of his talent. Listen if you haven't (or have) already.

Because the truth will set you free.

Step 1: Be [completely] honest with yourself... your wants, your needs. (Note: this may be painful yet essential)

Step 2: Don't allow the thoughts or words of others overcome the love that you have for yourself.

Step 3: >>Let go of your negative inhibitions.<< Release the past to the past, learn from it, look forward & embrace the future.

Step 4: Move right along. Smile :) Know that life is beautiful and you are blessed.



Not as easy as it seems sometimes.
But if you want it, you can get it.

PS. This has been my latest addiction: Soia.

Independence.

Happy INDEPENDENCE day beautiful America.

I have never been a really patriotic/nationalistic person. I'm hardly interested in politics... forgive me if I choose to stay partly jaded on the issue. {I know perhaps I'll grow up and take more interest in it one day.} Today, I'm focusing on my own independence. I don't think in my entire life have I felt more driven and inspired to be an independent woman. I used to be so scared to be alone, on my own, or having to do things for myself! It may sound silly.. but it's the truth. I grew up a sheltered... spoiled... little girl. Don't get me wrong, I'm not going to act like I'm fully independent as of now. I am not. I am still a young girl just trying to stand on my own two feet. I'm okay with admitting that.

But I feel the need/want to be more of my own person every day.
That means more to me than I could even explain.
Yes, we all gotta grow up sometime.
Sometimes it just starts to click.

We all have our own journeys, this I know.

Living a life for myself and loving every minute of it.
It's nice to see the future looking so bright,
we need to let the sun shine into our lives!

You can do anything and everything if you set your mind to it.
Soooo... let's get to it!



+xo.