i don't know what i'm even looking for.
i just know that i haven't found it yet, or i wouldn't feel like this.
i wouldn't feel like things just aren't right. i do realize that things happen and things change; but, why am i just not informed sometimes? it seems like i am just smacked in the face with the fact that things are different, and i didn't get the memo. am i just a stone sitting in the currents getting tossed along and shaped as i go? what if i don't want that? a stone can't move. that's how i feel. why have i felt so stuck?
i don't want to feel stuck anymore; but, it's so hard to pull myself out.
it seems like every time i try to pull myself out, i get pulled back into the currents.
* * * *
you know what i hate the most? crying. ever since i got back from cross creek, i feel like all i do is CRY. CRY CRY. cry about the littlest damn things. why am i so fucking sensitive? i mean, a good cry is nice once in a while... but i'm really over crying about the same thing all the time.
/endvent.
