Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Inspired by what moves me.

It couldn't have happened at a better time. When things fall apart, better things come together. When one door shuts, a few more open. When your heart breaks, it opens up more room for it to be filled with love, friendship, faith and hope.. Although I cannot, will not claim to be a perfect being. I strive to be the best that I can be. It's been a month since I turned 23. Almost 5 months since one of the most important things I *considered* to be a part of my life came to an end. It's really quite interesting how much can change in just a couple months: how the heart can heal, the mind can grow, outlooks and perspectives on life & my own purpose just evolve... thoughts & opinions on friendship, values, love & life/the pursuit of happiness just become clearer. That's really how it has been for the last 5 months. It's astounding really.

I feel like things fell apart, yet this time I chose to pull it together. It's crazy because I realize and can see how I have allowed life to just happen to me sometimes. I don't know how many times I've had to recognize and say it out loud, but it's so true. It's so easy to get lazy & not even realize it. In day to day dealings, it's easy to become accustomed to the monotony and the routine of everything. From being children we are conditioned to follow routine...not that this isn't a good thing because I do believe it is necessary to have one. However, I think what is rarely stressed enough in school is being able to be flexible with change and accepting that change is a natural part of life. Maybe it was just me, maybe I was the always resisting change and taking things for granted.



****
Seriously in the last 5 months, my outlook on life has become something so much more refined. I see my life for what it is now: something that has been given to me and something that I am constantly creating. Something that I have been ultimately blessed with. You can say what you want, people can say what they want...but I know life is special and whatever it is we do it with it and project onto others is our own doing.




~Post from July 2013~

Power of a moment.

I realized this weekend.. how difficult is it to really capture a moment? It seems like one could spend his or her whole life chasing something that can never really be captured. It is just a mirage. So how does one capture it? Is it really so simple that it can seem complex...? The sole fact of being in the moment. Being here & now.

I have recognized how difficult it is for me to do that all the time. To be consistently in the here & now/having to constantly remind myself not to get ahead of myself: to put down my phone, to stop talking, to stop worrying about everything about me & around me.. to just be. There is a fine line between insecure and being consciously aware, and a fine line between being here and now--rather than there and unaware. It's a constant balance, a constant cycle that we must never forget, but we do.. I do. I get caught up in wanting to capture every moment and save it. I want to take it all and put it in some sort of time capsule, I just want to get a go pro and record my whole entire life's experiences... but that just isn't completely possible and it shouldn't be. It's true that most of life's best experiences and moments are just that.. things that happen that can only be best summed up as a memory stored in your brain and hopefully not lost.




****

This is why I daydream. This is why I write. This is why I replay most of these memories before I go to sleep at night.

I want to hold onto them in the best ways that I can.

Friday, July 12, 2013

All we want is everything.

We all want to know everything. We are constantly on the quest for truth, further knowledge of self or of others, about the world around us...

I know I do too, but the truth is we can never know it ALL. There's always room for learning, always room for new ideas, always room for change & the unknown. If we close our minds to the world, then we close our eyes to what is in front of us, close our ears to new sounds or ideas... we remain still and alone to eventually die inside.

Okay, maybe I might be speaking a little too metaphorically again but really... I truly believe it is vital that we keep our minds strong with passion & motivation; however, humility is so important! You *and I* need to remember to check ourselves! Remember that this moment is OURS... Right now! Do what you say you would. Be who you say you are. REMEMBER what you said you'd do and do it. Don't let moments slip by and your words go undone. Don't just talk, walk, live... live with a purpose, count your blessings and don't let what really matters to you slip away.
Take. Your. Own. Advice.

So it's okay to admit when you're wrong, when you don't know, or when you DO know!

**Self thoughts**
Human interaction really interests me. Resiliency is key. I used to be one of those people who loved to feel sorry for themselves. Ha.... really weird since now I'm all about that positivity! Well, people can think whatever they want -- "It's all talk." Well, guess what. You really do have to fake it to make it sometimes.. because even though it may be "fake" at first... whatever you want in your life, you manifest that. I truly, truly believe in The Secret. If you believe in something so much, then you can and will you do whatever it takes to get there.



BELIEVE! ~ Love & positivity for days to anybody who comes across this. Yes, you too. ;)

I've had this track on repeat for dayssss. Really. It totally motivates me to get my day on. ~ TY Elaquent. Peep the Believing! Totally fitting for this post, right?

Thursday, July 11, 2013

Me too.

I'm a firm believer that everything happens because it was meant to and that all of our actions, although maybe not consciously planned, have some way of teaching us. We must learn from them. No doubt in my mind that I have had fun doing the things I have done. I don't regret a single thing. Even if at times, I have become irritated and frustrated with how life is going or has gone.. I know that this is the life that I have created for myself---or the one that was meant for me.

What does it all mean though? Where does self-will and manifestation stop and fate take hold? We can only do so much in our power to get what we want but what about the changing world around us? 

*Early mornin thoughts. 


All we can ever do is try our best, do our best, be at our best... 

[+] Stay conscious, grounded while always reaching higher.

I do think I want to go sit on the clouds today.... Just for a little...

New Ta-Ku... yet another beautiful remix. This guy just knows which sounds tug at heart strings and speak to you. A true artist of his talent. Listen if you haven't (or have) already.

Saturday, July 6, 2013

Because the truth will set you free.

Step 1: Be [completely] honest with yourself... your wants, your needs. (Note: this may be painful yet essential)

Step 2: Don't allow the thoughts or words of others overcome the love that you have for yourself.

Step 3: >>Let go of your negative inhibitions.<< Release the past to the past, learn from it, look forward & embrace the future.

Step 4: Move right along. Smile :) Know that life is beautiful and you are blessed.



Not as easy as it seems sometimes.
But if you want it, you can get it.

PS. This has been my latest addiction: Soia.

Thursday, July 4, 2013

Independence.

Happy INDEPENDENCE day beautiful America.

I have never been a really patriotic/nationalistic person. I'm hardly interested in politics... forgive me if I choose to stay partly jaded on the issue. {I know perhaps I'll grow up and take more interest in it one day.} Today, I'm focusing on my own independence. I don't think in my entire life have I felt more driven and inspired to be an independent woman. I used to be so scared to be alone, on my own, or having to do things for myself! It may sound silly.. but it's the truth. I grew up a sheltered... spoiled... little girl. Don't get me wrong, I'm not going to act like I'm fully independent as of now. I am not. I am still a young girl just trying to stand on my own two feet. I'm okay with admitting that.

But I feel the need/want to be more of my own person every day.
That means more to me than I could even explain.
Yes, we all gotta grow up sometime.
Sometimes it just starts to click.

We all have our own journeys, this I know.

Living a life for myself and loving every minute of it.
It's nice to see the future looking so bright,
we need to let the sun shine into our lives!

You can do anything and everything if you set your mind to it.
Soooo... let's get to it!



+xo.

Monday, July 1, 2013

How we are connected.

As life goes on & I look back as I look forward.... I see a bunch of connections that sparked, caught fire, fell apart and then those which continued to surge through with so much electricity. How are we all connected? Is it love? Is it the need to feel accepted? Is it fate? Is it superficial or based on something else?

I believe that all connections form from our basic human need to interact: to be a part of something bigger than ourselves... The feeling of being connected has the ability to make us feel somewhat whole.

We connect on many different levels--and of course to a point.. to share what we have with one another. When is too much? How and why do those surging connections tend to burn out? It seems as if once a connection is formed, it would take a lot for it to just burn out... but sometimes it just short circuits. You know what I mean? Sometimes the connection happens so fast. [We get comfortable too quick] Sparks fly yet that connections just ceases to be.

I know I'm speaking metaphorically but I've just been thinking a lot about connections: how they're formed.. how they end.. why they end. It can be such a mystery but at the same time I think we all know. We knowingly and unknowingly create and cut off connections with each other all the time.

I don't know exactly where I'm going with this, I just wanted to put it out there..
The fact that we are all connected basically means that is what we will be forever. Everybody knows everyone who knows somebody who may feel as if they are nobody. Nobody is really nobody to anybody. Even if a connection is cut off, we know what was once there. They just become old spark plugs with a new generator. Memories of the past.

So while you're here, might as well make those connections. No need to worry about if it will last. These connections we make can be sacred. You may encounter somebody for a split second and then maybe they're gone, never to be seen in your life again. You may meet somebody and they could bring so much into your life and then one day... it just isn't like that anymore. They disappear from your world and that's it. The connection's gone.

No matter what kind of connections that are made, I believe that all of them are made for a reason... to teach each other and learn from each other. This world is such a big place, so why not make it a point to be connected with everyone and everything while you still can?


The world is ours. Spread your love high & low...


xoxo

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Not that kind of girl.

Retrograde in Mercury begins today and I swear it's the truth...


One could call me a bit naive for trusting people so easily. I guess I've always just wanted to believe the good in everyone. What a blessing yet a definite curse.


How is it really possible to keep finding myself but losing myself at the same time?
That's what keeps happening.

All I can and have to do now is me though....what I should have stayed doing since the beginning.


**
Never lose sight of yourself.
Take care (of yourself.)

Friday, June 14, 2013

Evolving.

It's never too late to redefine yourself. It's so easy to get into the rush of wanting to express exactly who you are and what you're about. Do what you do and be who you are... and don't apologize. So many times I find myself apologizing for the way I am and what I'm doing.

BUT, WHY?

What's the point of being apologetic for something you were born or the way you were raised?? & If it's really something you want to change.. If you want it, you can get it.

(If that's what you really want...)

One might briefly think about changing for the better and for a second maybe even seriously ponder on but forget it in another instance. Is it really what I want or is it just a passing thought? If we admit the truth to the world then are we hypocrites for not really seeking change? Am I fucked up for even thinking or being this way?

Being conscious of every single moment and tiny action can be such a difficult task, but it is something that we all crave at times. Is it really possible? Is it necessary? I'd like to know... but all I know is that when I'm conscious, I feel more and more whole. Isn't that what we're all striving for? Being and feeling complete, it feels so obsolete.


Yet we're all striving for it.







Keep reaching for it.

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

What are you afraid of?

Some spend most of their life being afraid. I used to think I was afraid to be alone because it somehow meant lonely. Change can be scary but as I've discovered one of the most fun and interesting parts of life. Stepping out of my comfort zone and into the unknown realms of possibility can be scary but so completely necessary.

Being comfortable on my own has been one of my greatest struggles but I have somehow come to embrace it. It is insane how much growth can happen if you just will and allow yourself. How many times have I been afraid to do something and just didn't do it because ... what? Because of what people might think? FUCK THAT!

Be crazy. Be ridiculous. Be you! I hate to say it but it's true, you only live once. I'll be corny & admit that I love life! Because I do.

Life is too short to give a fuck about things for too long, especially if it gets in the way of your own happiness.

Never apologize for who you are.

Make changes for yourself but never change yourself for somebody else.

We cannot change anybody.


We're all just trying to live our life the best way we can, no need to get judgmental or analytical. The world is ours, but most importantly, yours. What are you going to do with your world?


As long as you always see the glass as half full....

++++



Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Deep thinker.

Lately I've been trying very hard to control my thoughts. It is super strange because I feel like my mind just goes off in weird places at times. I'm sure we can all relate in some way. The mind is really such a powerful thing--besides certain biological matters-- I do trust and believe that all of us make a choice to feel the way that we do.

So if this is the case, I want to be happy and positive as much as possible. I want to feel fearless and resilient. Wait, wait... I will be happy, positive, fearless and resilient. When we were younger, they told us.. "You can be anything you want to be." Sadly, as I grew older, all I found myself upon was boundaries and reasons why I couldn't.

For some reason, or for many reasons... I feel life changing once again. I used to be afraid and unwilling to accept change. I used to hate change. However as I've experienced more, I have begun to see change in a different light. As inevitable as it is, it can be a beautiful and necessary element of growth. How does one grow without change?

It's sad to let go of the past sometimes because people who you once knew so well become strangers of the past. C'est la vie. People come and go into our lives for a reason and right now I feel so blessed.

I'm happy to be surrounded by (mostly) positive people and energy. Who really has time to waste on negativity? I know it would be a lie to say that my life is completely void of negativity but I would like to view my glass as half full than half empty....

Positive thoughts... positive vibes... positive life! I really believe that's true because I've lived it. I live it. I want it and I'll get it.

<3 nbsp="">

Thursday, May 2, 2013

'Cause she don't give a fuck.

Lately I've been letting go a lot of my inhibitions. Some might see it as a bad thing, but I see it more of a HUGE sigh of relief. I feel like for a long time I've been closed off from the world and certain possibilities. Things were almost black and white, but I was floating in the grey.... at this time in my life, I am starting to accept the realm of endless opportunities and just enjoy being in the moment. It's sad to think about the feeling of complacency where things just start to feel so normal that it doesn't even seem like if you're growing or you're not. You're just there-- stagnant. Boring as fuck, probably in denial. I guess that's the point though. You only realize it once you've made it out.

It feels great to feel alive again and so incredibly empowered. You start to wonder where it all really comes from. Does it come from me? You? Everything around us....? I think all of the above.

Surround yourself with positive people and be positive. Stop caring so much about what everybody else thinks. Everyone thinks... it all boils down to what they choose to believe.

But really... sometimes...



Who really gives a fuck.

Monday, April 29, 2013

Positivity.

Life is full of so many surprises, growth and opportunity right now. It's so interesting how endings can become even better beginnings. I can't even begin to explain how much better of a person I feel I like I'm becoming. I feel like my eyes are just really open. It's sad that somehow my happiness begins to feel tainted because I think too far into the future or slip back into the past. I've been learning to trust being more in the moment but not getting stuck there.

Like I know and always will, life moves on whether you move with it or not. So are you gonna get up and keep moving or continue to stay stuck in what you have ultimately created for yourself?


Move along now.

&+ don't forget to smile!

Wednesday, February 6, 2013

I worry.

I worry about every single little thing. Worrying about things makes me feel like there's a chance that something won't go wrong. I've told myself that it's just in my nature, but lately I've been noticing that my worrying only gets me in the worst place possible because I eventually begin saying no to everything. It never occurred to me that worrying has brought me to a point where I don't want to be around other people or people may not want to be around me. 

But now... where do I go from here? How do you stop something that has become so embedded in your nature? Is there really something wrong with me?

Geez I ask way too many questions.

Just for today... please grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can & the wisdom to know the difference.