waiting.

i hardly write in this thing anymore.

i don't know.  sometimes i feel like writing helps, but sometimes i don't even know what i'm talking about, and that is just silly. i think that's the problem with a lot of us sometimes. we just talk and talk and talk but sometimes you just really have to think.

what i've been thinking about;

i'm really sick of doing nothing. i've been doing nothing for awhile now and as much as i don't like to admit it; i haven't really been acting on anything. and if there's anything i have not favored--for lack of better words--it is people that don't do shit. i know that fear and laziness are the worst excuses, they aren't even excuses. thinking back on half the shit i've been doing, i almost get angry. i need, want, crave, am going to get BALANCE. i wish finding a job was easier... but then again, i'm not really looking. this is all just stupid. i shouldn't be waiting for anyone to tell me to do things. i really detest that.

anyways, it's back to the basics for me. hopefully.

i am a beautiful, carefree & worthwhile young woman.

my purpose is to love and accept myself unconditionally while living each day to the fullest.

sometimes i feel like i've really lost sight of what's important and what i want in life.

i think it slowly comes back in pieces and i guess that's the way i'm going to learn for myself.

i wish i didn't feel like i wasted so much time, but then again... there's never a better time to start, than now. 

righttttt . ! ? . ! ?