Inspired by what moves me.

It couldn't have happened at a better time. When things fall apart, better things come together. When one door shuts, a few more open. When your heart breaks, it opens up more room for it to be filled with love, friendship, faith and hope.. Although I cannot, will not claim to be a perfect being. I strive to be the best that I can be. It's been a month since I turned 23. Almost 5 months since one of the most important things I *considered* to be a part of my life came to an end. It's really quite interesting how much can change in just a couple months: how the heart can heal, the mind can grow, outlooks and perspectives on life & my own purpose just evolve... thoughts & opinions on friendship, values, love & life/the pursuit of happiness just become clearer. That's really how it has been for the last 5 months. It's astounding really.

I feel like things fell apart, yet this time I chose to pull it together. It's crazy because I realize and can see how I have allowed life to just happen to me sometimes. I don't know how many times I've had to recognize and say it out loud, but it's so true. It's so easy to get lazy & not even realize it. In day to day dealings, it's easy to become accustomed to the monotony and the routine of everything. From being children we are conditioned to follow routine...not that this isn't a good thing because I do believe it is necessary to have one. However, I think what is rarely stressed enough in school is being able to be flexible with change and accepting that change is a natural part of life. Maybe it was just me, maybe I was the always resisting change and taking things for granted.



****
Seriously in the last 5 months, my outlook on life has become something so much more refined. I see my life for what it is now: something that has been given to me and something that I am constantly creating. Something that I have been ultimately blessed with. You can say what you want, people can say what they want...but I know life is special and whatever it is we do it with it and project onto others is our own doing.




~Post from July 2013~

Power of a moment.

I realized this weekend.. how difficult is it to really capture a moment? It seems like one could spend his or her whole life chasing something that can never really be captured. It is just a mirage. So how does one capture it? Is it really so simple that it can seem complex...? The sole fact of being in the moment. Being here & now.

I have recognized how difficult it is for me to do that all the time. To be consistently in the here & now/having to constantly remind myself not to get ahead of myself: to put down my phone, to stop talking, to stop worrying about everything about me & around me.. to just be. There is a fine line between insecure and being consciously aware, and a fine line between being here and now--rather than there and unaware. It's a constant balance, a constant cycle that we must never forget, but we do.. I do. I get caught up in wanting to capture every moment and save it. I want to take it all and put it in some sort of time capsule, I just want to get a go pro and record my whole entire life's experiences... but that just isn't completely possible and it shouldn't be. It's true that most of life's best experiences and moments are just that.. things that happen that can only be best summed up as a memory stored in your brain and hopefully not lost.

****

This is why I daydream. This is why I write. This is why I replay most of these memories before I go to sleep at night.

I want to hold onto them in the best ways that I can.