6months.

i don't mind the rain, it makes me think.


i have been home for 6 months today. i can't believe how much time has just flown by.



i think i know now why people write rough drafts.
if you saw the rough draft copy of my life story, there would be so many blank pages, scribbles and mistakes.
i'm guessing it would be like that for a lot of people as well.
i wish it wasn't like that all the time though.
but just like all that i've learned throughout my life and at ccm,
everything that happens in life is a lesson learned.
life is a journey, not a destination.

this is life. these things are really happening.
i've gained a lot and lost a lot.
i've made mistakes, i've made my own choices.
i've experienced new things and been misunderstood at times.
i've laughed. i've cried.
i've laughed till i cried.



i'm still learning every second of every day, even when i tell myself i'm not.

there have been times where i feel like i have nothing left to give or take.
there have been times where i dont know what i feel or what to do with myself.

i've found myself.
i've felt lost.
i've pushed people away knowingly.



today i walked outside to have a morning cigarette.
i listened to the leaves rustle in the wind.
i exhaled.
i saw life in the world again as the sun poked its head out of the rain clouds.


and i told myself again,
everything is going to be okay.


you may think i'm unusual and things that i say or think or weird.
i stopped caring about that a lot time ago.